“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”
-Omar Khayyam

It’s a well-known phenomenon that after major life achievements or reaching a goal that required a significant amount of time and energy, many people experience symptoms of depression. This can manifest as a lack of energy, feelings of sadness or irritation, and other unpleasant emotional states. Maybe you can recall a time in your life, even if you didn’t realize it then, that you fell into a slump after hitting a goal. Here’s why:

1. Striving is exhausting.

2. More importantly, the process feels good.

We clearly live in a goal-directed society. We are getting more and more advanced degrees and certifications, becoming entrepreneurs, striving for growth in all areas of our lives, achieving more, competing for scholarships, promotions, and first place. But, we are neurotically attached to the end goal, which blinds us to the unfolding of the present moment.

A mindful approach to goal-setting encourages us to release our attachments to outcomes. I know, I know, then what is the point, right? But really, what is the point? Do you think you will be finally fulfilled upon completion of this next great obstacle? Maybe. But will that last for always? Definitely not. You will find another goal to work towards to try to reach that same satisfaction factor.

As I mentioned, we expend a lot of energy in the striving. We think once we achieve our goal – graduate with a masters degree, renovate our kitchen, complete a marathon, achieve our ideal weight, land our dream job, meet our soulmate, make more money, or get a hundred likes on our instagram photos – that we will be happier. We think we will be better versions of ourselves. More fulfilled. Solid. Complete.

Research supports that working towards a valued goal generates feelings of well-being. So I want to be very clear that having goals is not a bad thing. Far from it! What I want to encourage is to utilize awareness each step along the way. The setbacks, the sacrifices, the parts that you wish to speed up to get to the “good” part – the end goal. But you can’t plan to have an emotion in the future. So as much as you have convinced yourself that you will be happy once you attain whatever you are working towards, remember that there is no other moment other than this one to experience anything, including joy and fulfillment.

So can you let go? Can you release your expectations, approach this moment and the one after with curiosity, patience, and trust? Can you be where you are without resistance? Without wishing for something to be different? Better? More? If so, you cracked the code. Happiness isn’t about getting everything you want or arranging your existence in a particular way that suits you. It’s about being with this moment, and this one, and this one, just as it is. Open, inviting, curious.

So set your goals and work towards them understanding that this is where you are today. “This is where I am today” is one of my most favorite things to say to myself. I will leave you with some wisdom from the great Lao Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher, who encourages an attitude of non-striving, which I will speak more about in a later post.

Rushing into action, you fail.

Trying to grasp things, you lose them.

Forcing a project to completion,

You ruin what was almost ripe.

-Tao te Ching

Enjoy the process, because that’s all there is.