The 7th thing to give up if you’re ready to stop binge eating is prioritizing weight loss as your number one goal. If you’ve been reading the previous articles in this series, you know by now that the ways we manipulate our food intake only cause problems.

What’s difficult about this is that most of my clients are afraid to let go of their rigidity around food because they are terrified that this will only lead them further down the weight-gain rabbit hole.

I am here to tell you that is not the case and that if you have gained weight, it is from binge eating, overeating, eating emotionally, and not listening to your body, not because you haven’t tried hard enough.

The more you try to dismiss your hunger the louder it gets. The more controlled you become with food the more out of control you eventually become. The more anxiety and stress about your weight and what to eat to lose weight, the more you will overeat.

Weight loss must take a backseat as you heal your relationship with food and your body once and for all.

Does that mean that you will never be able to lose weight again? No. It means that you take a radically different approach this time because if the things you’ve tried in the past actually worked for you, you wouldn’t be reading this and you wouldn’t be binge and emotional eating.

These are some of the main problems with prioritizing weight loss:

• You try to eat less than you need, leading to overeating when your control snaps
• You weigh yourself too frequently, which creates anxiety, which leads to emotional eating
• You ignore signals from your body to eat, stop eating, or rest because you are more concerned with weight loss than self-care
• You judge and shame your body, which leads to depression, social anxiety, and ultimately, overeating (more on this in post 11!)
• You seek out other unhealthy measures of weight loss – pills, supplements, surgeries, procedures, and other gimmicks that can have negative consequences
• You’re not present. You can’t enjoy anything you do at the weight you’re at right now because you’re always thinking about I’ll be happy when I lose ___ lbs.

Do you think you will be exhilarated when you hit your goal weight? This is delusional thinking. You’ll be happy for a very short amount of time. Then you will become anxious about “keeping it off,” afraid to eat anything, and still not enjoying your body. Goal weights are moving targets that create desperation and dysfunctional behavior, so let’s throw those out the window while we’re at it.

I know that many of you reading this right now actually have gained a lot of weight from binge and emotional eating and would feel better physically and emotionally if you lost some, but for now, this cannot be your main concern for all of the above reasons.

What we are working towards is a long-term, healthy, sustainable relationship with food and your body. This does not happen in a few weeks. More importantly, this does not happen after you lose weight. It happens in the present moment. It happens now.

So, if you’re really ready to let go of binge and emotional eating, weight loss is not your #1 priority. Your #1 priority is unlearning all of the harmful thoughts and behaviors that led you here in the first place.

Eating in the way I am describing in this series will help you to balance your weight naturally without forcing it in the ways you have before – that hasn’t worked for you because it doesn’t work for anyone.

If you struggle with patience and being present with what’s happening now, I urge you to check out my course on mindfulness and binge eating.

So if you haven’t already, now is probably a good time to toss your scale in the garbage as I suggested in article #3. Accept where you’re at right now and be patient with yourself as you make these massive life changes.

Let me also gently remind you that your weight is far from the most interesting thing about you. Your weight is not you. It’s not your energy, your passion, your love, your care, your generosity, your kindness, or the special you-ness that you bring to the world. It’s just a number. And you are incredible.

All my love,

Cina